What's in a tribe?

What's in a tribe?

For centuries, tribes have been defined by their mythical origins; the enclosures that confine their peoples and the cultural practices that bind the people together.

In medieval times these were villages in which people spoke the same language; shared  cultural practices; had similar eating habits and cuisines and were guided by the same rules and taboos.
With these characteristics, one can make a clear distinction between the Welsh and the Irish; the Shona and the Ndebele; the Maasai and the Swahili; the Flemish and the Walloon or the Somali and the Amhara.

If we are to apply the same definitions of tribe to today's context, wouldn't tribe be defined by:

Our abodes: Our furnished-gated and policed estates compared to the desolate tin-roofed slums our house servants live in;

Our languages: the rural or urban dialects we rap by corrupting conventional language as opposed to the drawled twangs articulated by those that have sojourned overseas;

Our food: our sumptuous oily fast-foods versus their high-end à la carte menus; our air-conditioned, reserved-seating, five-star restaurants as opposed to the crumpled polythene-walled food kiosks our casual employees frequent;

Daily living habits: the potholes and insults we collectively endure in public service vehicles on the way home or to work contrasted to the smooth chauffeured rides that our leaders enjoy on paved roads with manicured landscapes and pedestrian walkways; the day-long traffic jams on narrow back roads we frustratingly and obediently sit in as the ruling classes make half-hour trips across town on empty boulevards to their favourite golf clubs;
Our economic status: the haves versus the have nots; the rich versus the poor; the educated compared to the illiterate; the golf players against the football players; the gentlemen versus the hooligans; the elite versus the commoner...

Hopefully, in the very near future, virtual communities shall redefine tribe as we know it. Facebook, Hi5, MySpace, Google+... shall become our modern day tribes. Our languages shall metamorphose into vowelless jumbled consonants to economise on space and time. We shall experience love online with people we have never seen; traditional love-making shall be replaced by flattery and kinky displays of affection and body parts on inter-looping online videos; our eating and buying habits shall be driven by online menus; discrimination shall be premised upon social networks we are (not) wired to.

The outcome is that yesterday's definition of tribe shall ultimately be replaced by a definition that transcends villages, cities, countries and continents.

Inspired by Linda Ochanda...

Wrong approach to a whistler’s story

I recently had an opportunity to read the critically acclaimed book “It’s our turn to eat” by British journalist Michela Wrong. This was after numerous recommendations from my friends.

The book is a gripping and revealing analysis – from the whistle blower’s perspective – of the inner workings of the Kenyan political leadership. In many of the sections, it takes the reader on a roller coaster ride through the corridors of power as well the arrogance and duplicity of politicians away from the public glare. In other sections, it has the reader’s pulse throbbing with scenes reminiscent of the espionage thrillers the late American author Robert Ludlum was famed for.

Had it stopped there, I would have considered it a brilliant and incisive piece of literature. However, Ms. Wrong’s decided to delve into the intricate world of development aid. Her account of the role of the World Bank in "abetting" corruption, the two-facedness of the British government in addition to the issue of corruption and nepotism in Kenya is noticeably biased.

Cases in point; she attempts to cast the whistle blower’s father as a saint in the corruption labyrinth yet it is clear that he – as the Kenya’s first president’s accountant – has been an integral cog in that same system she is vilifying.

Additionally, her onslaught on the policies of the Department for International Development (DFID) on one hand and her defence of the Foreign and Commonwealth Office (which oversees the British diplomatic missions) on the other hand, is also not representative and only succeeds in bringing to the fore supposed intra-governmental rivalries pitting the two ministries against each other. It is clear that her main sources of information are those that support her chosen storyline whereas the actors on the other side of the divide are cast as betrayers of the reform agenda. Some of her subjects are also emotive lone-rangers who are even given the wide berth by their own governments; this, ultimately, does not give credence to her story.

It does not stop there, Ms. Wrong then again subjectively and botchedly delves into a complex subject that she clearly does not comprehend; tribalism in Kenya. The end result of her analysis is an indiscriminate vilification of one tribe and “their” supposed role in the corrupt and nepotistic nature of the Kenyan society today. In so doing, she casts herself as the typical I-lived-in-Africa western or western-aligned authoritative connoisseur” on Africa matters. To someone residing outside Kenya, her account most likely confirms (from a skewed perspective) the hopelessness of the country (and by extension the African continent) in the face of tribalism.

Living in Kenya by itself does not automatically provide an outsider with a straightforward representation of our ways of life. You have to understand why; most journalists, political commentators and “experts” on Africa assigned to Kenya always end up living in the higher-end, furnished and gated communities with little or no contact with the deprived masses. Their interpretations of the social, economic and political circumstances in Kenya often revolve around age-old, condescending, regurgitated assessments of tribal affiliations (depending on who holds the power reins).

Few are wise enough to see the glaring reality; tribalism is but a pretext by the political elite, a lazy conclusion by the media and a scornful judgment by self-proclaimed political specialists on the real reasons for our decadence. It is always the easy explanation, the easy way out.

Social and political elitism rather than tribalism are in reality the valid reasons for this social decay. Only when you have interacted completely at all levels of Kenya’s social structure will you appreciate the disconnection of the masses (tribe notwithstanding) from the political class.

I would have expected Ms. Wrong to focus more on her chief character, John Githongo’s important contribution and personal sacrifice to the fight against corruption in Kenya rather than to add in countless fragmented and uncorroborated angles that left me unable to separate facts from emotions.

As a “member” of the disparaged tribe in the book, I feel insulted and condemned by Ms. Wrong’s condescending and ill-researched assessment of the tribal fabric in Kenya and the supposed role of “my tribe” in the perpetuation of tribal animosity and corruption. If Ms. Wrong had set aside time to talk to me and a group of countless other like-minded “Kenyans”, then she would have perhaps realised that this group is glued together, irrespective of tribal affiliations, by a number things; mutual dislike of the political elite; everyday struggle to survive, one language and similar dreams for our great country.

Kenya: Abortion and Legalese

Original image from - http://www.freakingnews.com/Pregnancy-Pictures-35315.asp

*The following article was previously sent out by email thereby eliciting comments from the addressees. To open up the forum to other interested bloggers, I have reposted the article here. The addressee's comments have been embedded in this post.


I got this article from the New York times (A study done by the World Health Organisation on Abortion).
I have also attached a yet to be published draft of the constitution for your own perusal (Pls. read it).
I don't intend to sway you to any side of the debate on the new constitution, just to let you decide for yourself...
NB: The clause on Abortion is on section 26 (Right to life).

I'd be interested to hear what women have to say about this seeing that the men have been doing all the talking!

Rumba

You can also find the original article here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/12/world/12abortion.html?_r=1


Legal or Not, Abortion Rates Compare
By ELISABETH ROSENTHAL
Published: October 12, 2007

ROME, Oct. 11 — A comprehensive global study of abortion has concluded that abortion rates are similar in countries where it is legal and those where it is not, suggesting that outlawing the procedure does little to deter women seeking it.
Moreover, the researchers found that abortion was safe in countries where it was legal, but dangerous in countries where it was outlawed and performed clandestinely. Globally, abortion accounts for 13 percent of women’s deaths during pregnancy and childbirth, and there are 31 abortions for every 100 live births, the study said.
The results of the study, a collaboration between scientists from the World Health Organization in Geneva and the Guttmacher Institute in New York, a reproductive rights group, are being published Friday in the journal Lancet.
“We now have a global picture of induced abortion in the world, covering both countries where it is legal and countries where laws are very restrictive,” Dr. Paul Van Look, director of the W.H.O. Department of Reproductive Health and Research, said in a telephone interview. “What we see is that the law does not influence a woman’s decision to have an abortion. If there’s an unplanned pregnancy, it does not matter if the law is restrictive or liberal.”
But the legal status of abortion did greatly affect the dangers involved, the researchers said. “Generally, where abortion is legal it will be provided in a safe manner,” Dr. Van Look said. “And the opposite is also true: where it is illegal, it is likely to be unsafe, performed under unsafe conditions by poorly trained providers.”
The data also suggested that the best way to reduce abortion rates was not to make abortion illegal but to make contraception more widely available, said Sharon Camp, chief executive of the Guttmacher Institute.
In Eastern Europe, where contraceptive choices have broadened since the fall of Communism, the study found that abortion rates have decreased by 50 percent, although they are still relatively high compared with those in Western Europe. “In the past we didn’t have this kind of data to draw on,” Ms. Camp said. “Contraception is often the missing element” where abortion rates are high, she said.
Anti-abortion groups criticized the research, saying that the scientists had jumped to conclusions from imperfect tallies, often estimates of abortion rates in countries where the procedure was illegal. “These numbers are not definitive and very susceptible to interpretation according to the agenda of the people who are organizing the data,” said Randall K. O’Bannon, director of education and research at the National Right to Life Educational Trust Fund in Washington.
He said that the major reason women die in the developing world is that hospitals and health systems lack good doctors and medicines. “They have equated the word ‘safe’ with ‘legal’ and ‘unsafe’ with ‘illegal,’ which gives you the illusion that to deal with serious medical system problems you just make abortion legal,” he said.
The study indicated that about 20 million abortions that would be considered unsafe are performed each year and that 67,000 women die as a result of complications from those abortions, most in countries where abortion is illegal.
The researchers used national data for 2003 from countries where abortion was legal and therefore tallied. W.H.O. scientists estimated abortion rates from countries where it was outlawed, using data on hospital admissions for abortion complications, interviews with local family planning experts and surveys of women in those countries.
The wealth of information that comes out of the study provides some striking lessons, the researchers said. In Uganda, where abortion is illegal and sex education programs focus only on abstinence, the estimated abortion rate was 54 per 1,000 women in 2003, more than twice the rate in the United States, 21 per 1,000 in that year. The lowest rate, 12 per 1,000, was in Western Europe, with legal abortion and widely available contraception.
The Bush administration’s multibillion-dollar campaign against H.I.V./AIDS in Africa has directed money to programs that promote abstinence before marriage, and to condoms only as a last resort. It has prohibited the use of American money to support overseas family planning groups that provide abortions or promote abortion as a method of family planning.
Worldwide, the annual number of abortions appeared to have declined between 1995, the last year such a broad study was conducted, and 2003, from an estimated 46 million to 42 million, the study concluded. The 1995 study, by the Guttmacher Institute, had far less data on countries where abortion was illegal.
Some countries, like South Africa, have undergone substantial transitions in abortion laws in that time. The procedure was made legal in South Africa in 1996, leading to a 90 percent decrease in mortality among women who had abortions, some studies have found.
Abortion is illegal in most of Africa, though. It is the second-leading cause of death among women admitted to hospitals in Ethiopia, its Health Ministry has said. It is the cause of 13 percent of maternal deaths at hospitals in Nigeria, recent studies have found.
Sign in to Recommend More Articles in World » A version of this article appeared in print on October 12, 2007, on page A8 of the New York edition.


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in my view i think the women who've procured an abortion whether legal / illegal should lead us in this debate, until we fully understand what they have gone through many will vote by the masses, just a thought.......

CK


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Don't worry you won't be swaying me none. I've always thought (and still do) that abortion should be legalised, I respect the pro-life perspective, but think that a woman (and her partner) should have children at their discretion, when/if they feel ready, psychologically and otherwise, no exclusions, whether it's because the conception was out of a rape incident, or she doesn't feel she can take care of a child etc. etc. No reason should be deemed flimsy but of course pre&post counselling should be necessitated.
I also think prostitution should be legalised to better protect women but that's a story for another day... ;-)

YM


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My view on this is very personal but can only be summarised as- only the wearer of the shoe knows where it fits best, the rest is upto God's mercy!

Judy W.


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The argument on this issue is not about it being in the law or not its about the recognition and determination of what life is. By the way even the bible gives the 10 commandments and there is as much crime in christian countries as there is in non-christian countries. its an epple-apple scenario the difference is the same.
It doesnt mean that if we remove it abortion stops it only means that we recognise life of which 'we' is subject to discussion. Am looking at the constitution not now but in 50 yrs from now will my children detest or love me for the decision i make today regarding their future? How much mediocrity should i accept for waiting for a new constitution? What was i looking for when i thought i needed a new constitution, can i compromise for lack of or substitution of other apparent needs?
I think whatever decision one makes will purely be based on their personal views and conscience am done reading the document

Grace K.


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I thinks the Contitution covers the subject quite well, It just that how this might be interprated is an issue: How do you define "the life or health of the mother is in danger" for instance ?. To what extent can "a trained health professional" esteem that the life or health of mother is in danger : Is for instance economic/practical danger in scop (mother too young/immature, mother already has too may kids, mother has a handicap of some sort that obligates assistance to raise the child) ?.
Another intriguing issue is this "other written law" they are talking about. Doe that mean that if this "other written law" is non-existant, abortion is illegal ?
I think that the fact that abortion already in the constitution is a big step forward. If we look at the issue objectively, there is no big issue. However, if we are driven by our prejudices (religions, beleifs, customs), everything will always be either black or white. Am not saying we abandon our culture, religion etc, what am saying that a human being evolves with time, so does religion, culture etc.

Izo. K


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Obama's view on abortion.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100421/ap_on_go_pr_wh/us_obama_supreme_court

Judy W.


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The abortion debate in Kenya is a side show in my opinion led by hypocrites from the church and politicians.IHow come abortion wasnot a contentious issue during bomas and the same leaders were there and now it is .Some church leaders are looking for relevance now after they lost credibitliy during the Post Election Violence.

It conforms to the greater context of patriachy and power over women's bodies by a patriachal system .From a practical point of view every year 60% of the cost of government spending on maternal health care is devoted to post abortion care.For instance ,at the Kenyatta National Hosp Maternity Ward,60% of bed occupany is purerly POOR WOMEN in need of post abortion care.Countries that have implemented Reproductive Health Laws that include safe abortion when the mother's mental and physical health is endangered have recorded reduced abortion cases such as Nepal .Kenya is among the five remaining countries in the world with the worst laws on abortion.Kenya is also a very patriachal state shwing how patriachy and control over women's bodies is interconnected.

Vote Yes !

Njoki Wamai


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Hi all,
My simple summary to all these;
GOD GAVE US TEN COMMANDMENTS & NOT TEN SUGGESTIONS!

Frank


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Well said Frank, we have to obey God whatever the circumstances. To my opinion, whether everyone is doing it or not; or whether people will do it anyway does not matter. What matters is what does God say about it?
Will you be able to handle this matter when it gets out of hand? And it will. We will be having abortions left, right and centre just because some people will do it because they feel they are not ready for kids.

Sheila


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good article I may say. Mind boggling. But as far as I am concerned, Life is priceless and also God gave women the gift of life grow in them. My argument is. women should go for a full medical check up to ensure they are capable of giving birth in order to lower risks of terminated pregnancies due to complications. For example, I have a friend who lost her mother who was pregnant with her little brother due to high blood pressure during pregnancy and she had been forewarned by the doctor not to have any more babies.

I believe measures should be taken before women think about deciding on getting babies, I know it is crazy but better safe than sorry.

on the other hand lets be realistic, nature can take its course, if the worst comes to the worst let it be as long as it will not haunt the mother.

That's my take,

Thank you for this forums they make one think and shield us from conforming to this crazy blubbering lying politicians!!!

Nduta. M



I second Njoki; the Church is being a hypocrite; coz nowadays in many churches how may times do you hear preaching against abortion, ?how many times has the church held anti abortion campaigns in Kenya? Basically what am driving at is, before this whole constitution issue came up ,what has the Church been doing about creating awareness that its wrong to abort so why should they come up now? What is their agenda? Their voting of no coz of abortion won’t solve anything, the back street abortions are so many and most which result to fatalities, and many of theses young girls are people of Humble back ground and these are people whom the Church can reach out to and assist before they venture into the abortion act, I think the Church needs to look at what Role they have played in causing of the abortion before they even decide what to say.

Vote yes

Mwaniga


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It is really sad to note that we refer to the Church as something foreign, while indeed we are the Church, and the clergy are God's servants. they are right to take such a stand if they feel it does not comply with the values of our faith. And we should not push our responsibility to them. They are to guide and caution us, but ultimately the road we take is our individual responsibility.

To set the record straight the Church has, at least mine undertaken several steps to ensure that seminars are held as well as other trainings for our youth of all ages, and in areas to do with the biological changes they are undergoing, how to handle them, community responsibility and so on.unfortunately most of us parents are not allowing our children to attend such trainings. I think we should get our facts right, we as parents need to own up to our responsibilities and not to push to other people.

as regards to abortion lets first understand why our sisters got to that point. There are also psychosocial effects to abortion, how are they managing. lets not be quick to get rid of one problem well creating another.

please lets exercise caution in what we say....

CK


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We shall settle your funeral expenses

We know what has been happening; we have the most reputable intelligence service on the eastern extremity of the Indian Ocean, three hours beyond the Greenwich Mean Time, north of the Limpopo and south of the Sahara.
Our Intelligence service tells us of an amorphous bunch of individuals going around skinning people. Tonight they plan to surround your houses and take away your husbands and your sons.
If they happen to take away your heads, or your other body organs, be assured that we shall settle your funeral expenses.

We have annihilated them before, and we can do it again. Only this time our hands are tied, given that our boys and girls in various colours are busy elsewhere: guarding our mansions and providing protection for our concubines. Do not be discouraged, though, for you have many idle strong young men who should be vigilant enough against the hooligans. We will look the other way if you, justifiably, take up machetes, axes and sickles in revolt against the uninvited aggressors. In case any blood is shed, we shall settle your funeral expenses.

Our Intelligence services know everything that has been happening on the ground. They have known, all along; of the taxes you have to pay to the extortion cartels; 50 cents per maize cob harvested; 50 shillings for every new calf born; 50 pounds for your daughter who has just graduated from college; and 50 lashes for your recalcitrance to their abrasive requests.
For the sake of peace and quiet, please settle what they claim, otherwise we shall settle your funeral costs.


They have come like the wind, in the stillness of the night. They have lured you out of your house with uncompromising vocabulary, their voices accompanied by the unsynchronised clatter of their crude arsenal swishing through the cold night air, slashing against flesh and bone, splashing the fluids gushing from open wounds and squashing life out of the men you love.
We will not let you down; we shall settle your funeral expenses.

Rumba 2009

Matters Football: Now the gloves are off Harambee Stars...

In their football match against the Guinea National team (Syli Stars), Kenya's Harambee stars were surely gallant, but very soon, they will be on a real International stage where "gallant" is not enough. They need to seal a number of loopholes namely:

- Their pedestrian approach by the team (especially fatal when the defence does that). More specifically, the laid-back attitude of the two defenders allowed the seemingly innocuous Guinean midfielder to "walk" into the Harambee Stars box thus leading to the first goal.

Their apparent lapses in concentration which seasoned teams of the calibre of Côte d'Ivoire and Egypt can easily maximise on.

- Diet: It cannot be denied that Titus Mulama is one of the best mid-fielders from Kenya who dazzled opposing midfielders with his deft dribbles and passes; John Njoroge, one of the best left-backs and Austin Makacha and Osbourne Monday some of the more impressive midfielders. However, I only leave it to your imagination what the combination of skill + stamina can do. The team Nutritionists should add more proteins to the Player's diets in addition to a rigorous gym-regime to build up those muscles (emphasis on quadriceps). Otherwise they risk being physically bullied when they come against the North and West African Teams.

- Psychological loopholes - Sometimes it seems like the Harambee Stars players are overawed by the presence of the big names they encounter out there in the field; the reason being that perhaps most of the boys come from very humble backgrounds. It is our role as fans to make them feel like real celebrities in order to boost their confidence.

- Support from the government, fans and the football association. I believe Kenyans have a propensity to excel at any level in all domains be it Athletics, Rugby, Football, Cricket and Politics (America:)!) to name a few but this is an ominous task without the kind of support other teams receive in their countries. A case in point is Tanzania closer home; there, football stadiums are usually full to capacity even during league games! Perhaps time for the Team Handlers to refocus their strategies? Food for thought.

Go! Go Stars!

Bad Company

Apart from the now common Car-jacking, another phenomenon that is rapidly catching up is “Bar-jacking / pub-jacking…” I was a victim once and I have to rank it as the most harrowing experience I have ever experienced in my life.
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We had just completed the final run of an Israeli play “Accordions” which I had stage managed at the Kenya National Theatre on 31 may 2003. It being a Saturday, my two colleagues; Jeff who had played the main role as Matanya, Ken who had played “the angel of death” and I decided to proceed to the Ibiza Restaurant next to the Nation Center to water our taste buds. We left the National Theatre at about 9.30PM with a few drinks in our pockets in the form of a Kshs1000/= advance from the producer that we had grudgingly accepted insisting to be paid the whole amount in full. We walked all the way from the Harry Thuku Road, onto Koinange Street towards Kenyatta Avenue and branched left towards the Nation Center. We arrived at the Ibiza entrance at around 10.00PM. Outside, Ken decided not to come with us citing an urgent rendezvous he had.

The place was habitually packed forcing us to browse around for empty seats. These being unavailable, we had to make do with a couch and two seats right at the entrance, at the end of the staircase leading into the restaurant. Two female acquaintances who had watched the play earlier joined us after a few exchanges of phone calls. I vividly remember seeing some familiar television faces from the Nation Media Group seated at the counter. I reckoned the big number of the group was due to the close proximity of their office to the restaurant.
After about two hours or so of lively conversation and a few cold Tuskers, we were totally fused into the bar ambiance. I remember getting into an “intellectual argument” with Susan about a few socio-political issues. After a deadlock in our argument, she excused herself to visit the ladies’. At about the same time, most of the Nation employees left. I also went to the Gents’ to wash my face in order to clear my vision, which by this time was blurred by the effect of the alcohol I had imbibed. I came back to our table to find Jeff in a seemingly intimate dialogue with the other lady Carol. I felt bored and shifted the subject to the carved wooden giraffe behind my seat. I remember Jeff wondering out aloud how th giraffe’s outstandingly carved penis could be fitted with a condom. Jeff was barely at the end of his comical line of thought when two men staggered in front of our table and fell heavily on the cold floor. I burst out laughing wondering how two grown men could drink themselves so silly. I was about to communicate my thoughts to Jeff when my attention was drawn to the main entrance. Standing firm with his legs drawn apart stood a man about six feet tall in a leather jacket holding what looked like an AK-47 assault rifle. At the sight of this, anger immediately swelled in me. “The stupid cops have taken it too far this time… They’ve already started harassing people even in restaurants… I’ll give him a fucking piece of my mind…” I told myself. My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by amplified, accelerated commotion that gradually braked into a hushed silence. All around, images of people diving onto the hard, tiled floor in simultaneous fashion started flashing before my eyes. The scene all over the bar was reminiscent of a Mwamba rugby team try-getting drill. This was complemented by sounds of breaking bottles and screeching chairs against the floor suggestive of some sort of badly-arranged Kapuka music. I looked to my right and saw a young guy who could not have been more than twenty years old going around barking out instructions that I could not quite make out. I quickly panned left again to the 'cop' at the entrance to see another young jamaa standing next to him brandishing a revolver.

“Oh shit! Shit! shit” All the alcohol I had taken evaporated. I let out a quickly suppressed howl instantly biting my lip so as not to be heard. It was at this point that I confirmed the predicament my friends and I were in.

Realizing that I had not “dived” onto the cold floor along with everybody else as result of my very slow and naïve reaction to the events, I lifted up my arms in surrender and slowly and agonizingly slithered into an uncomfortable posture on the couch conscious that any sudden movement would invite a swift flow of bullets that would promptly end my cherished life.
My half-sitting-on-the-floor-half-crouching position gave me a good view of our captors and the unfolding events; the casually dressed men went around their operation in a visibly pre-rehearsed exercise. The tall gangster in the leather jacket seemed to be in charge of the job. His tough commands and mean demeanor compared suitably to those of a storybook Army Captain on a Prisoner-Of-War rescue mission. Besides the “Captain”, the other gun-totting youths had nothing extraordinary about them that could distinguish them from other members of a congregation in a Christian crusade.
A reveller, who must have decided to conclude his reveling night at Ibiza found himself in for a rude awakening when upon staggering into the restaurant, he was promptly ordered by the tall gangster to put belly to concrete. He was obviously slower and more naïve than I was since he contemptuously resisted the order. I cringed in readiness for the sound of a lethal burst of fire from one of the infamous AK-47 that would create huge perforations on his huge belly. But this did not happen; the “Captain” must have decided otherwise after seeing the drunken state of the newly-arrived reveller. After a few prods in the back with the muzzle of the AK-47, he must have come to a sudden realisation of the gravity of his situation because he made a dive that would have made any swimmer jealous.
The short intense scene (it happened in a matter of seconds) displayed the professionalism of our captors because in spite of the temporary resistance experienced, they maintained their cool and fired no shots.

Suddenly, it dawned on me that I was about to lose my phone. The previous week, I had promised myself I would transfer the more than 300 contacts on my phone book onto my computer due to the frequent rate of matatu-jackings on our Number 30 route to Kinoo. Some of the phone numbers were irreplaceable dating back to more than 10 years. A jammed work schedule had scuttled this plan. Desperation gives way to desperate actions; my precarious situation notwithstanding, I unthinkingly slid my fingers into my pocket, pulled out my 5-month old Siemens C-45 and threw it as far away as possible behind the couch. I would vehemently deny the phone as mine if it were found, I reckoned.

“Wewe! Unajiskia mjanja sana!” shouted the man in the leather jacket hastily approaching me and planting the barrel of the rifle onto my forehead. “Oh God please protect me… please do not let me die…” I silently pleaded. I was about to beg my would-be assassin for my life for hiding the phone when he said: “Unataka kutu identify, eh? (You want to identify us?) Why are you looking at us?” I apologized profusely and quickly forced myself into the space between the underside of the couch and the floor before he could think of firing the bullet that would cut short my life or reshape my well-formed facial features using the gun butt. He left me where I was gasping for breath and thanking God for delivering me at the same time swearing never to go out again.

His other colleagues had by now started collecting valuables from all the patrons. Jeff was first and duly handed over his phone. At the same time, another thug ordered me to hand over everything I had on me. I opened my wallet for him from which he took out all the money I had remaining (including the 1000 Kenya shillings we had been paid earlier).

When the time came for me to hand over my phone, a cold sweat started trickling down my brow, my feet became numb and my vision started becoming blurry. With a unassuming, calculatedly deceiving face, I told him that I did not own a phone.
“If I find it I promise I’ll kill you!” he retorted.
“Frisk me; I swear to you that I don’t have it. You can even kill me if you find it on me.” I answered back timidly, my heart nearly falling out of my mouth. I had to think fast; if I retrieved the phone from behind the couch, that would be sure death for me for wasting the gangster’s time. At that most desperate time, I remembered my Kencell SIM card that I always kept in my wallet: “Boss, I got car-jacked some time back and lost my phone to the car-jackers as a result,’ I explained. “I swear to you I am not lying, they even gave me back my SIM card. Here look,” I said at the same time retrieving the SIM card from my wallet.
My innocent demeanor must have somehow convinced him of my sincerity as he eased a bit on the trigger and moved on to other patrons for more collections.

As I was going through my ordeal, one of the other thugs had at the same time hit Jeff on the head with a beer bottle for not having enough money on him (he had hidden a few notes in one of the many pockets of his side mboco trouser). Taking stock of my situation, he thought it wise to hand over his phone to the thug since I had withheld mine. Carol was next and obediently complied with all their demands.
My frustrations had reached their peak making me wish for some kind of physical transformation that would change me into Spiderman, or better still Superman; I would use my superpowers to teach the bar-jackers a lesson. Their advantageous position over us killed this thought though.

After this 10-15 minutes episode reminiscent of a scene from an action movie, the thugs left as quietly as they had come in. It was some time before we realized that they were long gone after hurriedly emptying the bartender’s till and taking some of the DJ’s equipment.

When we eventually got up from the floor, the usual blame game started; which kind of respectable restaurant would allow its patrons to go through this kind of ordeal? Why was their security so rotten? Where were the bouncers? Where is the manager?

I had just retrieved my precious phone when someone from the far side of the pub set the alarm bells ringing; the thugs were back! We all hit the floor again; I started cursing myself for not being able to foresee their return when I was retrieving my phone from under the couch. I now lay in the open space totally exposed like a featherless roasted chicken on a family dinner table. Somebody shouted from the other side that it was only a scare. This must have sobered us up because as the futility of the whole ordeal dawned on us. The anger towards the restaurant’s management and security was replaced by a blanket acceptance. Had we expected a collection of muscles to stop live bullets? After all, this was the second joint to be hit by this new breed of armed robbers after a similar incident had occurred two weeks earlier at the Jazz Bar on Moi Avenue (We did not know that a month after our ordeal, the popular Tacos pub would be next on the bar-jackers list).

“Susan! Susan!” Carol’s shrill voice suddenly broke the somber mood as she started looking for her friend who minutes before the thugs came in had excused herself to visit the ladies’. We all feared the worst possible scenario: the thugs could have dragged her along with them as they left the restaurant intending to use her as a hostage or worse still rape her. However, our fear dissipated at the sight of Susan approaching from the direction of the toilets. Her face was literally white in color perhaps having endured such an excruciating ordeal in a room not knowing what was happening on the outside. All this time, she was standing on the toilet seat waiting for one of the thugs to budge in…

We decided to wait a bit before leaving the restaurant to avoid the possibility of being shot by police officers on the lookout for the gangsters. After a 30 minutes wait at around 3.00AM, we beckoned to Jeff (who had gone back to the table to finish his beer) that it was time for us to leave.

On our way down, I remember seeing Ken, a film director, holding his brow in a solemn posture in direct contrast to the upbeat radiant person who had come in just moments before the thugs struck. He must have lost a very expensive phone or quite some money on him, I thought to myself on our way down.

Downstairs at the main entrance, we found a couple of policemen in camouflage jackets and G-3 rifles who had come to “investigate” the “unfortunate incident”. This they assured us, was “just another happenstance not any different from the numerous others occurring all over the country.” We therefore headed home dejected.

We boarded a Matatu at the Khoja Mosque bus stop and assured our co-passengers that we had already been robbed thus if there was anybody who any ulterior motives, they would be disappointed.

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Rumba! © 2003


As a remedial measure, I decided it is safer to have a phone that you do not constantly worry about possessing. A good example is the Walkie Talkie-like NEC phone. If you’re lucky, you will probably get it back after a thorough dressing down from your would be aggressor.

Additionally, these days I do a lot of “window shopping”. I take advantage of the numerous display windows to monitor my surroundings and single out suspicious characters that might be tailing me.

Finding anonymity where there is none

Ever wonder about the kind of writings some of our dear brothers and sisters living in the coveted Fourth Estate come up with?

Sample the story below extracted from one of the main dailies in Kenya.

"

"..We can't deliver services to the public effectively when we are demoralised," a clerk at the office said. "...I had gone for an interview and passed and I have been waiting to be promoted to the position of a deputy Lands Registrar. I am now joining the Office of the President and I don't know where to start," the Clerk who spoke on condition of anonymity, said. "...The experience I have gained while working with the Lands Ministry enables me to detect a fake title deed. Those who will come may take a couple of months to reach such level," said the Clerk who has worked in the Ministry for 23 years.

"

Someone tell me; where is the anonymity???